Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
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