As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
