Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
