You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
Randomize
