Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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