Screwed.edu
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Yep, that just happened. My mom just gave me a big bag of drugs for my birthday. She even put them in a fancy bag with tissue paper.
so apparently last weekend we taught the mascot how to shotgun beers. am i winning college yet?
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Randomize
