Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
