I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize