"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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