So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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