In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
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