I can't watch pbs sober anymore
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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