My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
