there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
Randomize
