lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Just took my morning after pill in the library
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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