We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I don't feel like that was meant as a compliment, but really still feels like one
Randomize
