So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
