i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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