My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
We're sending your burrito through the mail slot.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
