so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Randomize
