This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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