he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
I wear drunk well.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize
