can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Randomize