He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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