Walk of Shame. In a state park.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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