and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
