No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Randomize
