Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
then he tried to convert me to islam
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
