well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
