We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Randomize
