My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
He was wearing an Affliction shirt, a Monster hat, and he asked me for anal within 5 minutes of meeting me. Like 3 strikes and you're out, bro.
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
