I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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