marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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