Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Some random slut told me I was a good dancer then gave me a handjob. I felt like fucking John Travolta.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
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