Well apparently he's into motor boating.
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
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