dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Randomize
