okay pat passed out under dana's car
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
