May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
