Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
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