8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
Randomize
