Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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