Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
