Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
My boss followed me on Twitter. Excuse me while I delete 90% of my tweets
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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