Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
Randomize
