Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Randomize
