My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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