you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Even my vagina gasped.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
