Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
..Thats also how I think I got the lyrics from MIAs Paper Planes Sharpeed on my ass? Maybe.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Randomize
