Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
