I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
i killed an earwig and left its corpse on the wall as a warning
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
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