no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
