Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
it wasn't lemon gatorade
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
