Rock
Scissors
Fuck
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize