Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
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