I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Randomize
