You really coming over, don't trick.
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
