There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
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