i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
I can text with my tongue
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
