No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Remember the time we were in the hospital and I wanted to steel the arm restraints and use them as sex toys?? Oh college memories....
I think I'm coming down now. I almost started crying because I lost a piece of paper.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I woke up with a captain's hat on my desk.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
