she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
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