whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
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