OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
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