Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
