I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize
