Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
We got so high we made milksteak
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Randomize
