I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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