White coat. Heels.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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