Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
