is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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